Getting older and getting….
I feel like sometimes some of my colleagues don’t understand why I do and don’t do certain things. One explanation for some of the differences is that I didn’t grow up with dance.
The progress that I have made in the last ten years has enabled me to get some paid gigs performing. I have to accept that like everyone else in and out of the dance world – I do what I can, and I have to be ok with that. I’m trying to look ahead to what role I will have in the field. Not that I’m gonna stop training, but I am getting older.
I started dancing in college. Since college, while I’ve been pursuing dance I’ve also been pursuing other careers. I’ve never made a living with my dance, so I’ve been making my living with other work. I’ve been a waiter, a bookstore clerk, a music store clerk, a consultant, a secretary, an intern, a freelance grant writer, a company manager, a studio manager, and on and on…. I have always had a net, but being already an adult when I found dance, I have never been able to just dance.
I look at my peers who were on scholarships and who walked into dance jobs out of that, and I know that the young ones have no idea what I’ve given, and what I’ve traded, to pursue dance. Yes, dancing is incredibly hard. Try being ten years older than everyone else, trying to do the same things, and having another career at the same time. So now I’m at this point – injured today, and worried for the future – where I’m like: ok, what am I doing again? Performing athletically is quickly getting out of reach, in no small part because I’m not giving myself enough time in my body. What will my ‘career’ be?
07: Christopher from Caleb Custer on Vimeo.
I have been working on the Bourgeon site and just came across (another) video hosting service. This one (Vimeo) hosts a channel by Cedar Lakes dance company. The video here bears on this post (though I’ve never dealt with serious injury.)
Interesting project, and not unlike Boris Willis’ dance-a-day project. And if you haven’t checked out Dance-a-Day, do.
This resonates with me so much, but more on a ‘what might have been’ level. I was well past college and starting my career when I started to dance. The economics and biology of that fact have never allowed me to consider dance as a profession, the odd after-hours teaching job aside. As with any career though, we are always changing, if not in our bodies, in our minds. All your ‘nets’ are an asset. Any dancer at some point must inevitably have one.